"Your ass is the best weapon in our arsenal." -- Jack, to Oz
(No quotes recordeded.)
(No quotes recordeded.)
(No quotes recordeded.)
(No quotes recordeded.)
"Mine's a portal." -- Rusteen, about his butt
"What did I tell you about thinking?" -- Oz
"Your feeble, pebble-sized brain cannot possibly comprehend magic. Now, touch my ass." -- Oz
"With your looks and my smell..." -- Oz, to Shazarr
"How about a plan next time?" -- Rusteen
"Name the last time I led you wrong." -- Rusteen
"I'm an evil bastard by mistake." -- Rusteen
"I'm trying to be nice!"
"Stop being nice!"-- Rusteen and everyone else
"I find myself getting into too much trouble. I'm going to trust you to make the deal." -- Rusteen, to Shazarr
"So with that here, this would be a haunted house?"
"No. It wasn't in the house."-- Rusteen and Shazarr, concerning the demonic ghost the party just defeated
"You're very close to making a deal."
"I take a step back."-- Oz and Shazarr
"Why didn't it kill us?"
"It's retired?"-- Twig and Oz, concerning the party's meeting with a baernoloth
"What's the penalty to pick her bosom?" -- Robb, concerning Rusteen's attempt to steal something from Twig
"Look... powerful magic." -- Shazarr to Rusteen, using flint & steel to light a house on fire
(Nobody said anything all that amusing this time around. I must be slipping.)
"Did I ascend?"
"No!"-- Twig and the rest of the party
"I'm sorry. I was totally distracted by Jack and porn..." -- Rick
"I could track it."
"I could track it."-- Rusteen and Shazarr, concerning how to find a colossal planar beast with a castle on its back
"I wave a daisy at him." -- Greymankle, tormenting Terrazin
"You died. Shup up." -- Jack, to Shazarr
"Who's this higher power you're answering to?"
"Me."-- Rusteen and Greymankle, to Terrazin
"It's a psionic STD." -- Terrazin
"Aaaaand... we're done." -- Everyone
(Sorry, I was too busy trying to keep track of combat to keep track of quotes this session.)
"Is 'heroic' a synonym for 'fatally stupid'?"
"YES!"-- Rusteen and the rest of the party
"What are you inkling on?" -- DM, to Terrazin
"What you need is a small team of highly trained professionals... or us." -- Terrazin
"You shot the paladin - you don't get a vote anymore!" -- Shazarr
"Well... shit." -- DM, after a surprisingly successful ambush against the party.
"Can I defensively charge?" -- Robb
"This could be OK; it's not the Abyss." -- Greymankle, discussing planar travel options
"You actually like druids?"
"I am a druid."-- Rusteen (woodsman) and Dr. Fever
"Evil as an afterthought? You should like it there."
"It's not an afterthought."-- Rusteen and Greymankle
"Is Jack lawful?" -- Zin
"Wanna go to Mount Celestia, Twig?"
"..."
"So, is that a no?"-- Zin and Twig
"You're not the spokesman." -- Greymankle, to Jack (the Bard/Sorcerer)
"They're orderly when they're unconcious." -- Greymankle, in the gatetown of Xaos
"I can be heroic for money." -- Jack
"Why should we save a guy named Latimer the Dense?" -- Zin
"The yellow flower is right behind me and it can climb!" -- Zin
"You're going to want to borrow my liver." -- Jack to Twig, upon hearing that she now gains magical powers from alcohol
"So you're advocating kicking her butt?"
"What? No!"-- Zin and Shazarr, discussing the head evil vampire
"That's not the heart."
"That's not even the mayor."-- Dr. Fever and DM, concerning called shots with wooden stakes
"I would like to kill one person today besides myself!"
"Can you make it not one of us?"-- Rusteen and Zin
"Who can deal with magic?" -- Shazarr
"Yes, it's an undead, vampiric, dire wolf. But you notice something unusual about it." -- DM
(Sorry, I was too busy trying to keep track of combat to keep track of quotes this session.)
- "So, Shazarr. Do you have any money I can borrow?"
"..."- -- Zin and Shazarr
- "So, is that a no?"
- -- Zin, to Shazarr, about five minutes later
- "Are we gonna be a party of freaks- never mind."
- -- Joe
- "How much did it cost to do your rat?"
- -- Zin, to Jack
- "Don't be rude."
"Sorry."- -- Felgelor (a cornugon) and Greymankle
- "For future reference, when a flower is shocking you, DON'T MOVE!!!"
- -- Jack, to Rusteen (while in the Abyss)
- "I'm Good. Fuck you."
- -- Jack
- "How long do we have to stay here?"
"Inversely proportional to how long you behave yourself."- -- Rusteen and Shazarr, concerning their visit to Carceri
- "Pretty soon we should start making ourselves obvious."
- -- Zin, momentarily forgetting the party's S.O.P.
- "So, what's our plan?"
- -- Greymankle (Joe), showing that he's truly the new guy
- "I get to be Ghandi this mission."
- -- Rusteen (Robb)
- "Zin, you have to learn not to ask questions..."
- -- Ginaea (Valerie)
- "At least we can trust the yugoloth."
- -- Rusteen (Robb), concerning travel options on Carceri
- "Aren't you half medusa?"
"Not the scary half."- -- Greymankle (Joe) and Zin (Rick), to Shazarr
- "Where's your happy thought?"
- -- Shazarr (Neil) to Greymankle (Joe), as the latter falls in the Realm of Winds
- "You could open a satellite bar - 'The Butt of the Beholder'."
- -- Greymankle (Joe) to Rusteen (Robb)
- "It may lend to the aura that you aren't completely ineffective."
- -- Zin (Rick)
- "Why do you think Badir is a loving power?"
"... I inkled?"- -- Shazarr (Neil) and Zin (Rick)
- "Put the ring on the rod and stroke it with the hand."
- -- Rick
- "How do people swim with all their equipment?"
"THEY DON'T!"- -- Robb and Everybody Else
- "Whenever I see fungus I think of you."
- -- Jack (Josh) to Rusteen (Robb)
- "I preserve Jack's liver."
- -- Rusteen (Robb)
- "The Athar have too much faith."
- -- Shazarr (Neil)
- "We'll remove the irritant now. Come on, Rusteen."
- -- Terrazin (Rick)
- "Attack first, think later."
"Yes, do what you do best."- -- Terrazin (Rick) and Que (DM) to Rusteen
- "My ass is occupied."
- -- Rusteen (Robb)
- "When does she tell you you're handsome?"
"At night."
"OK, elves don't see better at night."- -- Ginaea (Valerie) and Rusteen (Robb)
- "I've got to get me one of these!"
- -- Robb, concerning the weapon Rusteen is currently wielding in combat
- "That's why I came up with that plan. I was hoping someone would veto it."
- -- Shazarr (Neil)
- "Show me one plane of existence that doesn't have something wrong with it."
[points to Dr. Fever]
"I went wrong."- -- Shazarr (Neil), Jack (Josh), and Dr. Fever (Ron)
- "Did you look at his ass?"
"Heck, yeah, once it becomes apparent that his ass is the only one that opens it!"- -- DM (Ken) and Shazarr, discussing portal keys
- "You're much better with people."
- -- Rusteen (Robb) to Twig (Linda)
- "There is no blue guy in my ass."
- -- Rusteen (Robb) to Ginaea (Valerie)
- "You are so not a Prime! Have you looked in a mirror lately?"
- -- Zin (Rick) to Shazarr (Neil), once more proving Planars can be Clueless too
- "We should rape and murder ourselves."
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron), discussing how to draw the murderers out into the open
- "We have a government to overthrow!"
"No, we have an Uncle Beavis to save."- -- Jack (Josh) and Zin (Rick), discussing the plans for the evening
- "This town is pathetic. Why do we want to save it?"
- -- Shazarr (Neil)
- "If you really think bringing me to your homeworld will reduce the crime rate..."
- -- Shazarr (Neil) to Rusteen (Robb)
- "What are these?"
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron), upon being polymorphed into a female ogre
- "Why is your brother more important than raping and pillaging?"
- -- Zin (Rick) to Rusteen (Robb)
- "We're here to rape and murder!"
- -- Twig (Linda)
- "We're a young, randoming rove..."
- -- Robb, with yet another one of his verbal typos
- "The one-eyed trouser wand..."
- -- DM (Ken)
- "Belief is like a river..."
"What if you dam the river?"- -- Que (Alan) and Rusteen (Robb)
- "We did not bring enough sunscreen to talk to Ra."
- -- Alan
- "It's not a good idea to investigate the church now. Want to come?"
- -- Zin (Rick)
- "You realize that's illegal."
- -- Jack the Gambler/Gigolo (Josh) to Rusteen the "Woodsman" (a.k.a. Thug) (Robb)
- "I've got a wand for you. Reach into my pants."
- -- Rusteen (Robb) to Jack (Josh)
- "I trust [your] magic more than I trust that."
"Oh, this isn't magic."- -- Shazarr (Neil) and Zin (Rick)
- "I slowly start to lead the fern back."
- -- Robb
- "Isn't he Fated?"
"No, he's Athar."
"Oh, then I trust him."- -- Twig (Linda) and Dr. Fever (Ron), referring to Shazarr
- "You're much less unattractive now."
- -- Rick, on the success of Rusteen regaining his lost Charisma points
- "Condoms? What condoms?"
"His nickname is Johnny Appleseed."- -- Robb and Ron, in a conversation about Rusteen's fascination with Wood Elves
- "She wants to whack my fern with the ugly stick."
- -- Rick
- "I'll do that thing on his thing."
"OK, his thing is magical, but it has no real power."- -- Alan and Ken (DM), concerning Rusteen's "little problem"
- "Let's kill it!"
- -- Rusteen (Robb), multiple times
- "The githyanki are evil. They would hunt and kill things. ... Wait, you hunt and kill things!"
- -- Zin (Rick) to Rusteen (Robb)
- "I put my finger into the little black hole."
- -- Rusteen (Robb)
- "I don't want Rusteen, but I do want the dead, headless body."
- -- Ginaea (Valerie)
- "Well, I didn't want her for her brains."
- -- Shazarr (Neil)
- "Why would you use stitches?"
"I don't use stitches - I use staples."- -- Zin (Rick) and Dr. Fever (Ron)
- "I'm Jack van Burace. Gambler and Gigolo."
"Is that a job?"- -- Jack (Josh) and Zin (Rick)
- "It's really annoying how he will, on a regular basis, stop whatever he's doing to go and do something else."
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron), showing that irony is completely lost on modrons
- "I'll take a watch with Twig and we'll stay up drinking. Wait. That's probably bad."
- -- Rusteen (Robb)
- "I'm not going to sleep with him, I'm going to sleep on him."
- -- Rusteen (Robb), concerning a day-old khaasta corpse
- "Where are we going? The Ambiguous Wayfarer?"
- -- Rusteen (Robb), concerning the Sigilian tavern "The Ubiquitous Wayfarer"
- "Just accept that we're going to mess up your evening."
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron) to Shazarr, concerning the latter's invitation to a private party
- "I rather like her better this way."
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron), about Ginaea (who'd just succumbed to the insanity-causing winds of Pandemonium)
- "Query: Are you in heat?"
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron)
- "Drink this. It dulls senses; empties mind. You seem to like that."
- -- Que (Alan)
- "Query: Is this a homoerotic experience?"
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron)
- "Wood Elf. Hold the Wood."
- -- Ron
- "I'm not feeling like talking to my staff."
- -- Robb
- "What if a being does not have a colon to blow? Can it borrow one?"
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron), during the discussion of drink names (specifically, the "Colon Blow")
- "A good place to pick up contacts..."
- -- Shazarr (Neil), while standing underneath the sign of The Eye of the Beholder (a giant, bloodshot eye)
- "He can't help it - he's boring."
- -- Shazarr (Neil), about Terrazin (Rick)
- "What made you want to become a Doom-thingy?"
- -- Ginaea (Valerie), to a member of the Doomguard
- "What are you - a living chastity belt?"
- -- Garr (NPC) to Terrazin (Rick)
- "Query: Are you interesting?"
- -- Dr. Fever (Ron)
- "Well... I'm a shy person."
"I don't like shy men."
"Actually, I'm quite bold."- -- Rusteen (Robb) and Nymphia (NPC)
- "Flail me occasionally, but lightly."
- -- Ginaea (Valerie)
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Authored by: Ken Lipka E-mail me: krlipka@yahoo.com |
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