Stark 17:  Ruby red hightops

I finished writing the letters, one for Random and one for Cecily.  I was hyped.  I signed the rough parchment with   a flourish, that drove the quill through the paper scratching the wooden desk underneath.  That finished, I positioned both just so on the surface. 

I looked at the rough, home-spun clothing the Prince had thoughtfully provided and wrinkled my nose.  This chick was not to going to walk the Pattern, wearing rough scratchy clothes all the way.  That's all I needed, girl goes up in flames when she pauses to scratch herself.  Nope, who cares what they thought, it was time for comfort clothes.  I pulled out my pair of obnoxious red hightops.  Reichert calls them my Dorothy shoes.  They actually have little sparklies and will glint in the sunlight.  Then my favorite pair of well worn, faded, holes in the knee jeans.  Denim is a blessed invention.  Lastly, a grey muscle shirt.  It has the faded logo of the Wild, Wild Animal Kingdom.  A snake, in a circle biting its tail with a roaring tiger and a flying pterodactyl roaring behind them. 

I went down to Luke's room to get his permission to borrow his trump.  I sensed some of the stuff he was going through, so I brought a long my alcohol flask.   It has some aged Glennvana scotch, something I thought he'd appreciate.  I knocked on the door and then paced back and forth while I waited for him to come out.  I explained my little mission.  He was not impressed, thought it was suicidal.  Now where have I heard that before?   And then he decided to go with me.

Not too long after that, I found myself traversing the pattern.  Feels like your whole body has fallen asleep and then been rudely woken up.  Oh yeah, did I mention the bad LSD trip thrown in for good measure?  That was the easy part.  When they added the cement shoes, I got really really pissed.  I saw all sorts of visions - my mom, step dad, brother.   Past lovers, not so past lovers, Dragos surrounding me in his arms and scooting both of us through the water, a flash of Greyson illuminated by a cigarette in the dark of night, holding a baby Cammi in my hands, stiching up a torn up cat, my first calving, and Aidan, smiling, sexy mysterious always around the next corner.

So I got to the middle, fighting mad at this thing and the stupid test.  Asked it to take me to Dragos.  It did.   Let's just say I kind of lost it there, when I realized it had taken us to his pyre.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to look Luke in the eyes again.  That was really embarassing.  He was dead.  This man who had so arrogantly married me, just weeks before.  Killed himself.  Clipped his wings so he could not save himself and tumbled off a cliff.  At first I thought that my denial of the marriage had done it.

His Aunt made it even worse.  She explained scornfully about his visions.  About how he'd been driven mad by seens of anger and of a young girl miscarrying.  I looked at her, and realized that she was describing me.  Full sensory overload time.  I mumbled something about those being my visions, promptly and even more embarassingly threw up and passed out.

I felt a little better in the morning, until his funeral.  Upon which scorn and derision were heaped upon his dead wingless body.  I added my fire to his pyre and the day passed lit by a cloud covered sun and the flames.  I hadn't loved him, but I had liked him and I was furious at the potentials that had been ripped away from us.  I wasn't too surprised when I was given the chance to lead.  It was either Illie or me, or civil war. 

Luke listened quietly as I ranted and raged, and talked about myself.  It was all too much of a burden to keep inside.   Then we made our good-byes as the people packed and headed once more to Amber.